Love is not a four letter word

I am a girl that dosnt use the word LOVE. But for the past few weeks I fine myself wanting to use it more and more but have no one to tell. I keep trying to tell myself that I dont need to say it but that just makes me want to say it more. I am not sure I am old enough to be useing the term I love you unless with my family ( an this person is deffinatly not in my family). I cant tell him I love him because even to me it sounds to much to handel especally at my age. The other reason is that one of my close friends is also in love with him and I dont think i could do that to her. I feel that someday soon this will all blow over in my mind but I cant look at him everyday an think of would could happen if I tell him how I really feel right now. Love is sappose to be a happy feeling right? well then why do I feel so shitty. so for right now all I want is this...... I hope someday somebody wants to hold me for 20 minutes straight and thats all they do. They dont pull away. They dont look at my face. They dont try to kiss me. All they do is wrap me up in their arms without an ounce of selfishness in it. That all I want out of life at this very moment.